Today is my birthday. Today is my birthday. It's a bit weird to type/say/think out without singing the rest of that one Lorde song from Pure Heroine. But today is my birthday and I'm sixteen.
Except I don't feel sixteen. And I don't know if it's because I haven't fully recovered from last year's turning-the-only-difference-between-fourteen-and-fifteen-is-twelve-months disease (I sort of blogged about it here). Or maybe it's because all of my friends have always been a year older than me and hearing about driving permits, job applications and the stress of university applications has me wishing. Or maybe it's because this is the first time my birthday's in the holidays.
Whatever it is, I don't feel sixteen. I've taken to telling everyone I'm seventeen going on sixty-three. It's not that I'm not ashamed of sixteen or just actively lying to people but in my mind I am not sixteen. I guess this is reverse mid-life crisis or something. Except it's not a bad thing.
I'm probably just this confused because I haven't enjoyed a birthday since Grade Seven. This time last year, most of my friends had disappointed/upset me, my mom forgot, I took the bus late, fell asleep and ended up at the wrong stop. I walked home, with a heavy heart and heavy school bag, wearing a bra (red flag number eighty-three), in tears because everything was so miserable. And then no one wanted to go out for my birthday (I quasi-blogged through my feelings and soon last the nicest blazer I've ever owned).
But while most of those feelings are still in my soul, I am so happy. It's been such a great day already and I haven't felt this glad about my birthday since I was twelve. So I wanna do something, like, big to commerate this. Well, bigger than my thighs will be after the truckloads of carbs and fizzy drinks I'm about to dive into today. I'm thinking a giveaway or making a care package(s) (with, like, a journal, sparkly pens, sweets that can survive long distance of any sort, a flower tiara/something cutesy and craftsy and so on) so I just wanna know who would be interested.
And here's some stuff from the past six days of holiday!