Wednesday, 11 March 2015

Suskind, The Double Bass and Tangerine Trousers

"Tell me, if you can, why a grown man in his mid-thirties, namely me, should have to live with an instrument that's a constant handicap to him? Humanly, socially, sexually, musically, in traffic..." Patrick Suskind's The Double Bass.

The same genius that brought us Perfume: The Story of a Murderer, also really affected that sweet spot between my left and right lungs with The Double Bass, which is on until the 14 March at Sandton's Auto General Theatre on the square. What I thought would be a terrible one-act, one-man play wherein Pieter Bosch Botha would speak at me for an hour and a half about the double bass actually turned out to be a very heartbreaking monologue about a lonely double bassist disenfranchised and almost crippled by the four string instrument that makes up his life purpose.

It begins as a middle-age man simply praising the double bass, he speaks about how it's sparked revolution in classical music, its lack of appreciation, its central importance to any orchestra along with anecdotes about famous composers and the history of the opera and orchestra. But the double bass, as an instrument, starts to change form in the bassist's monologue. The bass becomes this allegory for oppressive voices, the bassist is unheard and, despite all his classical training, he is reduced to a mere artisan as opposed to a musician or creative. The double bass works as both a helping hand and a crutch; it taunts him, demands more of him, he even goes as far as to take the jack off of his back to protect it from the rain. Coupled with his soundproofed apartment, the bassist is forced to accept this unhealthy, pseudo-codependency because, in the end, the bass is all he has.

 I recommend everyone see this play once in their life. It's the most thought-provoking, endearing and jarring tale of loneliness, of how the things that make us also break us, of the uncomfortable nature that is this human existence. It's been over seven days and this play still rattles my bones.
I went to the theatre almost straight after school and in my rush, I accidentally put this shirt (which I wore as a skirt here) on backwards and it turned into a pretty cool boxy, turtleneck thing. My pants are relics from H&M that have me spend every four minutes posing like one of Soulja Boi fuckboys (ie. constantly grabbing my crotch). But if you're fortunate enough to either have super long stems or pull of that fuckboy look, these are for you, boo.

Anyone see/read some really cool plays lately? I need something to go against The Double Bass as the best thing ever.

Wednesday, 4 March 2015

Less Marcia Brady, More Raven Baxter: The 70s Can Leave

seventies are back (obv)


The 70s are back and its bigger and badder than ever. You probably haven't noticed due to its super subtle influence on the Spring 2015 collections in New York and London. It takes a super trained ear to hear the slight, *judging you* whispers of Marcia Brady all over Derek Lam's suede panelled skirts, Dries Van Noten's minimal use of silk and BCBG's flared pants. While I love middle partings, giant sunglasses and floppy hats as much as the next blogger brat, I was really hoping that the really popular 90s revival would lead to an even more popular early 2000s repentanance. You know, a decade I can really echo sentiments of "back in my day" and actually get on my Tumblr pretense, "only 2000s kids will know what [assorted shit probably featuring heelies] is".

Ever since chokers, velvet and those giant Fresh Prince puffy jackets came back, I hoped that  my mom was insane for attempting to insist I purge my closet of the frilly mini-skirts, furry collared tops and jersey skirts that were the light of my youth. Sadly, Jackie Burkhart isn't trying to let that happen. Well, I say NAY.

"But, Khensani," you begin. "The 2000s were gross." Well, shut up. 
Listen, you're too focused on the excessive amount of belts, scarves and butterfly clips to actually recognise what was the greatest sartorial decade ever. Yes, we're all a lit bit turned off by super low cut Ambercrombie skirts and high rise thongs and all the weird shit people used to bedazzle all over their jeans and don't get me started on velour tracksuits. 

But, young one, do you not remember the July 2003 issue of Vanity Fair?
What about the super ghetto fabulous application of faux fur to anything and everything?
Or the absolute experimentation in all things crop top? I'm talking one shoulder, no shoulders, straps, weird things that just ended in a triangle above your navel and a very (worrying) supply of halter tops.
 And don't even get me started on the rise of metallics:
Also, along with V-necks that kept getting deeper than French existentialism, it was arguably the greatest time for the OG socialites (DUIs and public lack of underwear included); Nicole, Paris and Lindsay.
 Don't try to tell me Lizzie McGuire wasn't everything either.
 Or pretty much anything by Gwen Stefani (cultural appropriation aside).
 And Lil Kim.
 And this happened.
 Also: Gossip Girl, headbands, tights and coats, man.
No lie: the 2000s got very messy very often but it was also the most fun I ever remember in fashion. There was this lack of inhibition in terms of hemlines, materials, lace-ups, colours. Not to mention the absolute carefree Black girls on the rise; Lil Kim, Eve and Missy Elliot to name a few. I don't think there was anything as aesthetically exciting as one of their music videos. To hell with eyes over lips or lips over eyes: accentuate whatever you want to accenuate. 

The 2000s were free. It just seemed like the funnest mish mosh of past decades and modern clothing. It was wearing all your favourite items at once and spending your Bring It On DVD pack money on the overpriced criss-cross C&C California tank tops because Lauren Conrad had three.

Marcia Brady just don't do it like that.

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Monday, 2 March 2015

Bang, Bang Into the Room

 February is always a really difficult month. You realise, once again, that you can't keep throwing so much money because "New Year, New You", Valentine's Day is pretty awful (especially since you already threw away so much money in December), Fashion Week(s) sucks and your resolutions/plans/hopes has been thrown off by Reality and all the things you have to catch up on.

I think that's why March is such a blessing. You can finally take a breather, prepare for upcoming vacation time, the arrival of winter (layering makes me so happy and, also, Drake weather) and change up your life.

I finally gather the courage to crawl up from under all my art homework and get my hair cut, as well as experiment with some bangs which a recent article on Man Repeller convinced me was an essential to every young woman experience ever. My friends, who helped me rescue the hack job originally done to my head, did not agree.
Top: H&M | Skirt: H&M (by accident, I swear) | Jacket: Better Half | Bag: Zara
I wore this last weekend when I went Glitter Betty sourcing and Melville exploring with a friend I hadn't seen in forever. It was so refreshing to not spend all day making body chains and embroidering Drake lyrics onto crop tops (don't ask).
(Left to right:) Lines from Locket by Kilo Kish, Wednesday Night Interlude by Drake and Weekend in Atlantis by Jaden Smith

What's everyone looking forward to this March?

Friday, 13 February 2015

How To Be As Dramatic As Your Pants


  1. First things first, you're going to need a lot of red lipstick and green filters. I suggest MAC's Ruby Woo - a lipstick so strong that it can withstand eating, drinking and the energy from wack bitches for up to twelve hours. In terms of filters, I find that VSCOCam's C1 is mad decent.
  2. Next, you're going to develop a nonchalant glare that you'll only use for photos and people who can buy you burgers because of how extremely enchanting you'll appear.
  3. To entice more members of society into buying you more burgers, you will also need to only indulge in tie-and-go hairstyles (like the bun, pictured above, that I put up and left in place for four days), super delicate jewelry and songs sung in falsetto (see: Lolawolf).
  4. Never be more than three meters away from plant life. You know how you should 'trust no bitch'? This doesn't apply to tress. They are our only ride-or-dies.
  5. Only wear light, floaty fabrics in the colours that remind you of flowers (or actual florals) and only ever be seen outside when there's a breeze. You must keep up the appearance of being an ethereal otherworldy being made of magic. People always buy burgers for people who look like they're floating.
  6. Pink socks.
  7. Take an obscene amount of super moody I-look-like-I'm-really-mad-that-I-have-to-take-selfies-but-being-this-magical-is-difficult-and-I-need-to-document-this-for-future-generations selfies.
And there you have it: you are now almost as dramatic as I am in these pants! Good luck, don't '@' me as to why being dramatic seems to have a lot to do with getting free burgers and always get pickles on those buns!
 My top is a dress from Better Half (who now ships to the UK!), I taught myself (haha, so many Internet tutorials) how to sew these flares and I'm wearing platforms from somewhere in Istanbul. All my jewellery, except for my cuff, is stuff I made for Glitter Betty (email if you're interested in some, check them out here on Glitter Betty's Instagram or, here, on Facebook).

Tomorrow is the day after Friday, the 13th! How is everyone celebrating?

Monday, 9 February 2015

The Radio, They Don't Really Play Us

My life's turning into one long Jaden Smith ballad and it's a little trippy because I haven't slept in three days and I don't know how to count minutes but, wow, it's so good.

You don't think about how many things distract you or how much nothing you're accumulating until everyday you're doing everything and now there's always something and anything to do. My friend texted me the link to Jaden Smith's new album(?) (EP?) (great American novel?) on Friday and I've been a state ever since. I redecorated my room, taught myself some Photoshop, caught up on my journal work (both personal and Art) and made like 38380402 chokers and body chains for Glitter Betty. I also am finally up to date with Supernatural and I don't understand why there was a time I ever wanted to not be busy.

It's like on E!'s Fashion Bloggers when Margaret is like, "All I ever do is work and school." And then she mentions something about a boyfriend that obviously flew over my head.


Last year I printed out a couple of text messages from my friends and kept them above my bed but I preferred them around my mirror now, where I'll be forced to interact with them everyday.
Photo of my mom at a party back before I was born - so, like, hella nineties, man // Hamsa body chain over a Mr Price white lace bra I bought purely for Tumblr feels.
Flamingo and palm tree pendants from Mr Price and an Accessorize 'Make Your Own' necklaces strung over a wire hanger ("NO MORE WIRE HANGERS") // Elephant neckalce and gold bracelet from the Turkish Bazaar over a Van Gogh postcard from the time I went to the Van Gogh museum in Amsterdam // a Petra Collins photo on some red gumpaper from my old visual journal // Left to right: photo by Petra Collins, photo by Paul Ward and a photo from the Swedish House Mafia concert two years ago.
Top: Cotton On. Skirt: Glitter Betty. Shoes: charity shop (for R50 [$5] at a charity shop and they're genuine leather) (!!!). Chokers: Glitter Betty

I strongly doubt I'm going to be able to keep my wall this pretty for very long since I suck at keeping my room looking like anything other than a neglected charity shop. Anyway, what's everyone been up to? Any tips for not being such an organised mess?

Sunday, 1 February 2015

Glitter Betty Shop and Other Feels


pretty alternative hipster girl in circle sunglasses mesh top and lace cardigan black choker
 When I was in grade two, I used to force all of my minions - I mean, friends - into a drawing circle after school and we'd all design wedding dresses for my big, fancy company. I was pretty pedantic about bringing glitter and colour pencils and crayons everyday so we could make dreams come true. Then I'd ring everyone into playing the wedding game and marry kids off to each other, pretending the girls were dressed in one of my darling creations.

Fast forward to ten years later and I am yet again pedantically forcing my friends into arranging themselves around flowers, feathers and fairy lights in order to achieve ethereal, late at night, moody feels for my new (and only, really) business venture, Glitter Betty.

Glitter Betty is going to be the online destination for vintage, thrift and baesic clothing (that is clothes made/designed by everyone's least favourite teen witch, yours truly). It all came to when I realised how completely over I was with South African retail (well, of the affordable variety) but also how much of a drag waiting to go overseas is and the heartache of waiting weeks for international shipping is.

I mean, if someone ever wants to write a horror novel it would be a place (the Internet) filled with beautiful and goal-fulfilling clothing at pretty prices (I see you Love Culture) but all as the disguise of a hideous underbelly of shipping, rates and taxes as well of months of waiting and waiting (recurring guest star: the South African Post Office strikes). I mentioned this to a friend and she jokingly suggested that if I hated it so much, why don't I do something about it. While we laughed that crazy idea over, my mind got to thinking about how not crazy any idea that was.

So here I am, eagerly preparing to launch Glitter Betty and taking pretty cool photos of my friends (you can find out exactly when it goes up for reals by signing up for the mailing list and receiving a 10% discount off of your first purchase HERE).

artsy blonde in vintage purple jacket and gold glitter body suit with flowers in her hair in a bath tub
pink tinted soft light girl with space buns in vintage shirt and h&m sandals in bedroom
Keep up with Glitter Betty on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook and Tumblr

I've been really into sunset colour palettes lately; so a lot of pinks, oranges and then teals and cyans/that super soft, ethereal rosy tint to everything with some very defined and dark shadows/glitter and reflective shit/end of summer, end of days, end of daze/manic pixie dream girls you get to sometimes see, if you're really lucky, when you go downtown/that overexposed, super bright, low contrast Polaroids-like effect that Wildfox tends to do a lot in their lookbooks/more glitter and reflective shit and feathers and anything pink and pretty from Party Spot.
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What have you been inspired by lately? And has anyone lost their minds over Tavi for The Coveteur or am I just your favourite drunk uncle to this?
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