I have a bit of a rant I need to get off of my chest.
But, boy, am I tired of having to constantly defend personal decisions that affect me and me alone.
Part of the reason I haven't been blogging all that much is because everything I've been wearing recently is a very watered down version of what is not my personal style. And I'm afraid to post these outfits because they're not in any way Khensani. They're outfits I've chosen because they're easy. Because no one can have a problem with jeans and a tank top or that guys will give me the right attention when I'm in a tight skirt and heels.
It's like I'm living a lie. I guess that might be pretty dramatic ("because it's just clothing!") but the fact remains is that it is not in any way OK. Part of the reason I started this blog was because I've witnessed so many beautiful individuals find themselves and enjoy the comfort of their own skin and expressing themselves in the best way they could.
I'm tired of explaining why I don't wear a bra (but thanks for asking because it has everything to do with you)
I'm tired of having to defend my views on religion (I'm sorry I've threatened everything you believe "so strongly" in because I have a different perspective)
I'm tired of being told that I'm being too sensitive to racial jokes ("but, come on, black guys are kind of crusty")
I'm tired of defining feminism (no, it is not just man hating, short hair and burning bras) and affirming that women have never been equal to men
I'm tired of brushing of comments about my blue lipstick (why, yes, actually, I am Satan) or my platform sneakers
I'm tired of playing poor little rich girl because people are obliged to resent the success of other people
I'm tired of being labelled a prude because I'm not ready for sex
I'm tired of being labelled a ho because I feel comfortable in crop tops and short skirts
I'm tired of skipping meals because no one really likes fat girls - sorry, I meant thick
Really, I'm more than tired. I'm sick of it.
I'm a boiling pot of frustration and my eyes are constantly stinging with hot seas ready to drown villages
My bed hasn't been slept in because I can't close my eyes without second guessing every decision I want to make
And I can't keep quiet, I can't sit idly by, I can't just be seen and not heard like a good little girl
I can't pretend that I feel comfortable in tight skirts and the ladylike pumps everyone else has
I can't watch a 2 Chainz music video and think that objectifying women is OK in the sake of a good jam
I can't laugh about Guy 3's tight pants and know it's all right because "he's such a fag"
I've just had it up to here. I just want to be done with it all.
End of rant. Man, that felt good. Anyway, Beyonce's new album will comfort me on these humid summer nights.
|How crazy trippy are the colours here? And this is not the result of a bunch of editing either. And I am the queen of looking pissed.|