Today, an old friend asked me about things going on in my life. We hadn't seen each in a long time and it was weird. Talking to old friends gives you an uncomfortable sensation and guilt and nostalgia and that thing you get when you're with your mom and you feel like you have to constantly explain yourself. My friend noted that I didn't the laugh the way I used and my humour had changed. I was quieter, more subdued, like I had a lot on my mind.
Talking to an old friend and reminiscing - you'd expect you'd learn new things about your friend and receive a more rose-tinted view of the past but those things you find from just looking at the person, watching them check their Twitter whenever the conversation stalls.
And after said friend leaves and you promise to try to see more of each, say hi to your mom/sister/the-love-of-your-lives, you're still left with that gross feeling of guilt. It flows through your veins like oil and your arms become heavy.
You never realise how much you've changed until you're faced with the people who've become people you used to know. One of those people being yourself.
I don't know. It all made me think of Buzzcut Season by Lorde. There's something about the song that makes me think of the increasing number of people I know becoming people I knew. And it's great that times are changing but change is this terrible shade of blue that I find both warm and cool.
Wifebeater: Topman | Jeans: Cotton On | Sandals: Edgars | Bangle: Truworths | Lipstick: some eyeshadow and Vaseline | Attitude: 16 years of being nothing
Camisole: Mr Price | Pajama Trousers: Zara Istanbul | Shoes: Diva at Zando.co.za | Ring: the store formerly known as Sass Diva, Zuri | Belt: Mr Price*** FYI: I wore these outfits on separate occasions. I am not a great catfish.