Friday, 13 February 2015

How To Be As Dramatic As Your Pants


  1. First things first, you're going to need a lot of red lipstick and green filters. I suggest MAC's Ruby Woo - a lipstick so strong that it can withstand eating, drinking and the energy from wack bitches for up to twelve hours. In terms of filters, I find that VSCOCam's C1 is mad decent.
  2. Next, you're going to develop a nonchalant glare that you'll only use for photos and people who can buy you burgers because of how extremely enchanting you'll appear.
  3. To entice more members of society into buying you more burgers, you will also need to only indulge in tie-and-go hairstyles (like the bun, pictured above, that I put up and left in place for four days), super delicate jewelry and songs sung in falsetto (see: Lolawolf).
  4. Never be more than three meters away from plant life. You know how you should 'trust no bitch'? This doesn't apply to tress. They are our only ride-or-dies.
  5. Only wear light, floaty fabrics in the colours that remind you of flowers (or actual florals) and only ever be seen outside when there's a breeze. You must keep up the appearance of being an ethereal otherworldy being made of magic. People always buy burgers for people who look like they're floating.
  6. Pink socks.
  7. Take an obscene amount of super moody I-look-like-I'm-really-mad-that-I-have-to-take-selfies-but-being-this-magical-is-difficult-and-I-need-to-document-this-for-future-generations selfies.
And there you have it: you are now almost as dramatic as I am in these pants! Good luck, don't '@' me as to why being dramatic seems to have a lot to do with getting free burgers and always get pickles on those buns!
 My top is a dress from Better Half (who now ships to the UK!), I taught myself (haha, so many Internet tutorials) how to sew these flares and I'm wearing platforms from somewhere in Istanbul. All my jewellery, except for my cuff, is stuff I made for Glitter Betty (email if you're interested in some, check them out here on Glitter Betty's Instagram or, here, on Facebook).

Tomorrow is the day after Friday, the 13th! How is everyone celebrating?

12 comments:

  1. Your flares are everything. I must develop my moody-yet-magical glare.

    www.lexilikes.com

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You probably have one waiting to coming out. Let it shine, girl!

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  2. I love the pants, wouldn't dare to wear it because i would have no idea what to pair it with but you totally make it work !
    I'm celebrating valentine's day on my own, treating myself to some cake and face mask, I'm probably gonna watch some girl power film later on, what about you ?

    Charlie xx
    http://charlieleschroniques.blogspot.fr/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. It was mostly out of luck that this dress/top seemed to go actually.

      Delete
  3. Very beautiful! Great choice of colours, love the lipstick! x

    www.JenniferNoir.blogspot.co.uk/youtube x

    ReplyDelete
  4. Loved this post! Had me laughing! You write really well, hon:)
    www.monalisas.no
    http://instagram.com/monalisas.no

    ReplyDelete
  5. I love your writing style. You're hilarious. The nonchalant glare thing made me laugh audibly. Yes.

    www.thejuiceboxqueen.blogspot.com

    ReplyDelete

We can also talk about the overweight, grey cat I'm gonna name Atticus one day or how you're feeling.

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