Thursday, 18 February 2016

All White Sucks


Kim Kardashian is not to be trusted.

Olivia Pope is not to be trusted. Country club members on tennis courts are not to be trusted.

Anyone who regularly wears all-white ensembles is very clearly a psychopath or privileged enough to have a mousy assistant who serves them red wine in sippy cups and puts down sheets when they're about to take a seat. In addition, anyone who regularly wears all-white ensembles enjoys having everyone look at them sideways when they choose to stand a metre from walls, inspect surfaces supposedly for sitting and ask for the driest dishes on the menu.

See, to live an all-white life is to continually struggle. Sure, you're super aesthetic and an Instagram wet dream but you will die inside. Your once adorably clumsy friend with a thing for cranberry juice is now your enemy. You can't enjoy outdoor excursions with your friends because you can't catch any of the jokes, preoccupied by the thought of grass stains. What is the point of being oh so crisp, so clean, so minimal when you can't even enjoy lunch with your friends because everyone thinks you're a priss for putting down ten serviettes before you sat.

Wearing all-white means you must sacrifice your life for the aesthetic, essentially doing everything for the Vine.
My mesh top is from H&M, tennis skirt Mr Price, Rubi/Cotton On flats and one sock is Reebok, the other addidas. My choker and marabou cuff are handmade by yours truly.

Anyone wear all-white ever? Why do/would you like to suffer like that?

8 comments:

  1. Hahahahha, I love this. I don't think I have worn all white, but it seems like a total struggle. BUT HEY, THESE PICS ARE DAMN CUTE.

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  2. I have never worn all white ever, because I am secretly a slob but also love my crazy colours and prints way too much to give that up

    secret-hipster.blogspot.com.au

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  3. hehe I LOVE the way you write! this is brilliant! I haven't worn al white since I was like 8 years old and thought I was one of the Williams sisters. You look So Fresh and So Clean


    Aida

    x

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  5. you give off such badass vibes and i love this haha. It's a shame you hate all-white ensembles because it suits you a lot.

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  6. You look so sick, in love with your all white ensemble...we could never pull off the look without looking a) ridiculous or b) get our clothes stained within fifteen minutes...
    Feel free to check out our latest post x
    LOOK LOVE WEAR

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  7. Nice house, nice bum

    Idea: wear the whiteset things to the safety of your bed. Plot twist: your period sneaks in the witching hours. We can't win.

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  8. You're the best! I don't think I've ever worn an all white ensemble since I'm pretty sure I'd have it destroyed before even leaving the house. You look amazing ! x
    fashionismyfirstlanguage.blogspot.ie

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We can also talk about the overweight, grey cat I'm gonna name Atticus one day or how you're feeling.

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